During my 35 years in Russia, I witnessed governmental institutions erasing social, political and cultural memory, resulting in numerous degrading social processes, culminating in a devastating war in Ukraine. My experience of living through the constant pain and guilt of the ongoing war in Ukraine has led me to use repetitive and labour-intensive knitting to create a memory. Memory is fragile. I want to feel and remember this time with my fingertips, for it is impossible to articulate my feelings. Through making and unravelling, I started my diary, hoping to be built into the garment of new human connections between Russia and Ukraine after the war.